oh my god, this *is* me.
GPOY.
Obsessive RPG gamer rules.
(Source: manonfire, via theburningstars)
the common sense guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse:
So, in the wake of reading this terrifying shit, Postcard and I started chatting, as you do, about the zombie apocalypse. Here are some things Postcard and I enjoy: zombie media, common sense, and YELLING ABOUT STUFF. Thus, for your reading pleasure, please enjoy our simple twenty-step guide to NOT DYING in the unlikely event that a zombie apocalypse ravages humanity:
- IN THE EVENT OF AN ACTUAL APOCALYPTIC SITUATION, ASSUME THAT THE FOLLOWING THINGS ARE GOING TO STOP WORKING: running water (this includes toilets); anything that relies on electricity (this includes gas pumps); anything that relies on natural gas lines (this includes gas stoves/central heat); basically, anything that relies on there being a factory of some variety at the other end of thing you want to make do stuff. THAT’S ALL GONNA BREAK. THIS INCLUDES THE INTERNET. Thus, the most important thing to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is:
- RESEARCH. For as long as you possess the internet, do everything you can to learn as much as possible. Research edible/medicinal plants (or seriously, go into a bookstore and loot your shit a guidebook, they’re not large, they sell little tiny ones, you can put it in your pocket, WHY DOES EVERYONE IN EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE NOT DO THIS). Research, from available information, how the zombies work/which of their senses are functional—for example, if they operate largely by smell, you want to work on smelling not alive. If they operate largely by sight, DON’T LIGHT FIRES AT NIGHT. And speaking of fires…
Solo Cups: Knowledge
I was curious about the lines on solo cups the other weekend and learned something amazing. This information should be taught in an intro class to all high schoolers and college students.
It turns out that the lines of the solo cup allows you to measure out a shot, a glass of wine, and a beer. This would have been ridiculously helpful during my partying years!
why has nobody ever told me this….
mind blowing
omg
Anatomy of A Solo Cup 101
THATS one shot? That cant be right. It cant be….
it is
Everybody stop everything.
It’s a YAWNING BAT.
; A ;
My fav gif. Evar
EVAR
(Source: ForGIFs.com, via thelightsintheskyarestars)
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
I’m a Member of the Midnight Crew (a capella) - Eddie Morton
I hate a moral coward, one who lacks a manly spark
I just detest a man afraid to go home in the dark
I always spend my evening where there’s women wine and song
but like a man, I always bring my little wife along!
I’m a member of the Midnight Crew
I’m a night owl, and a wise bird too
Home with the milk in the morning
Singing the same old song!
Rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun
Early to bed, and you’ll miss all the fun
Bring your wife and trouble, it will never trouble you
Make her a member of the Midnight Crew!
The fun it doesn’t stop ‘til 12 on happy old Broadway
So what’s the use of going home, until the break of day?
Now, something confidential, whisper not above a breath,
I once went home at 2 AM, and scared my wife to death!
I’m a member of the Midnight Crew
I’m a night owl, and a wise bird too
Home with the milk in the morning
Singing the same old song!
Rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun
Early to bed, and you’ll miss all the fun
Bring your wife and trouble, it will never trouble you
Make her a member of the Midnight Crew!
I never shall forget the night I made Six Rappers’ Run
Although I didn’t have a knife, a blackjack, or a gun
I proved myself a hero of a very high degree
I ran for home, and six of them, were running after me!
I’m a member of the Midnight Crew
I’m a night owl, and a wise bird too
Home with the milk in the morning
Singing the same old song!
Rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun
Early to bed, and you’ll miss all the fun
Bring your wife and trouble, it will never trouble you
Make her a member of the Midnight Crew!
(Source: sircharlesofbutt, via theburningstars)
Why couldn’t Thor’s hammer break Captain America’s shield?
BECAUSE IT WAS MADE OUT OF FREEDOM AND THE DREAMS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
uh excuse me wasn’t it adamantium
no it’s vibranium
you mean FREEDOMIUM
Aren’t wolverine’s bones made of adamantium?
No, Wolverine’s bones are made of crystalized maple syrup and universal health care.
(via theburningstars)
That awkward moment when…
you forget to throw away the handle of Captain Morgan before your parents come in the room
I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard
WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK
when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟
(Source: sometimesoverwhelming, via merphology)
bleeding heart dove, the dove that always looks like it just walked away from a driveby shooting
(via merphology)
